Do's & Don'ts

Mind Your Manners!

Nowadays people surf the internet for anything from banking and business to shopping and love. With this increase in online activity we've seen a whole new code of behaviour develop.

The way we conduct ourselves has been particularly important on dating sites, with more and more people joining every day looking for love. As in any social group the world over, the online dating industry has found it necessary to develop new rules for making connecting with potential partners, civilized and friendly. So, if you're looking for a date, soulmate, penpal or friend, think how you’d like to be treated and treat others the same.

The Do's

Do use a reputable site where your email address is anonymous.

Do tell the truth at all times! Make sure your profile photo is up to date. Why create a false image…you’ll be wasting your time.

Do set up an email account just for dating site use.

Do reply to everyone who contacts you. How would you feel if someone ignored you? If the person doesn’t appeal to you then just a polite “No thank you” is ok.

Do remember your manners and be polite. Remember, there’s another human being waiting to hear from you.

Do be light and humorous but take care. Humour can often be based on tone and that never comes across in an email.

Do start an email with “Dear” “Hi” etc, whatever comes naturally and finish with warmth. “Best wishes” “Thinking of you” “Take care”. It you say it in real life then say it in an email.

Do keep an open mind and when someone else says “No thank you” don’t take it personally. You won’t like everyone you see and nor will they. And remember, not everyone will be as polite as you are going to be!

Do use the email blocking option on SilverSurfersDating.com if, for any reason, you want to stop emails from another member. (Read more about this in our FAQ’s)

Do ask lots of questions and show genuine interest in the person you’ve contacted.

Do remember that the other person may want to be very private to begin with. Let the relationship develop at the pace they choose.

Do send an email after a date just to say you enjoyed it or not. If it’s the latter then be polite in “closing the door”

Do see lots of people, as long as you’re being genuine and not just playing a game! Unless you’re very lucky you need to meet several people just to compare how you “click” with different types.

And The Don'ts

Don’t send an identical email to everyone! Make them personal and reply to comments in the email you’ve received. You’d be surprised how that can be forgotten.

Don’t disregard someone immediately. Email each other a few times to find out interests. Sometimes a person is shy until they talk about a “pet” subject.

Don’t be rude in an email and certainly don’t lie!!

Don’t swear or use any kind of colourful jokes. At least wait until you both know each other a lot better.

Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask more about the other person.

Don’t use the other person as a therapist!

Don’t be impatient. If they want to go at a slower pace than you then THINK! Are you happy with that? Are you able to be patient? Are THEY playing a game? Trust your instincts.

Don’t hesitate if you feel comfortable with what you’ve read in the emails. If it feels right ask for a date. What would you have done offline? Again, listen to your gut feelings.

Don’t cause anyone to feel they’re being “led along”. If you want to say “No” then say it politely!

Safety Guidelines

Be Alert

Remember, in everyday life, before you tried online dating, you would be wary of a romantic approach until you felt sure and more comfortable with the person? Well, the same will apply with any dating site and you need to be protective about your identity until you are prepared to reveal who you are.

We all have instincts, or gut feelings, whatever phrase you use it’s the same. But, in our eagerness to make a romantic connection we sometimes ignore that inner voice. Always listen to and trust your instincts, and if in doubt don’t continue contact with that person. Just politely say goodbye.

Take it easy

The first communications always cause excitement which can lead to a “lowering of the barriers” and rushing in too quickly. STOP!...and take it easy. Feel your way and start with a friendship. See if the other person is comfortable with that or if they seem to want to rush things. If they seem to be pushy, back away slightly and see if their tone changes. Find your own pace and go with that. Don’t be hustled into a meeting if you think it’s too early.

Danger Signals

If you know what to look for there are always a few clues about the other person. Some examples are:

No photo in their profile, although it’s very unusual not to have one. All the more reason to ask why not!

The other person won’t tell you much about themselves, but expects you to reveal all.

Details they reveal may change slightly. You discover an inconsistency in something they tell you.

The other person insists on an early meeting.

Shows anger or jealousy, perhaps a hint of a control freak there!

Tendency to talk down to people

Odd request

Rudeness

We had a brainstorming session and the above was the result, but it is by no means a complete list. If you have any suggestions to add please email us.

Stay Private

Staying anonymous on a dating site is strongly advised until you are satisfied the person who are in touch with you are genuine and to be trusted. Engage in conversations and emails and assess them by their replies. We cannot stress strongly enough to keep private until you are comfortable with those who want face to face date.

Don’t use your personal email address. Use a free email account such as Hotmail or gmail. Don’t give out your personal cellphone number. Use a pay-as-you-go phone for any online dating related calls.

The First Meeting

SilverSurfersDating strongly advise you should not meet until after many regular emails and conversations online enabling you to build a picture of trust and familiarity with the other person. Even then, you need to make certain arrangements to try and cover any possible awkward situations.

Meeting in public places is always a good idea. Perhaps with some friends, or have some friends close by. If they can’t be there, at least tell them where you are and what time you’ll be back. Call them to confirm you’re back home and also pre-arrange to call them during the date to say if all is ok.

Always make your own travel arrangements to meet. Never allow the other person to collect you from your home.

If you drove to the meeting don’t let your date escort you back to your car. People can be traced by their registration plate.

If alarm bells start to ring during the date then bring it to a close immediately. Invite your friends to come over and leave with them. If that’s not possible call a taxi and leave.
Do not return to your home with your date on the first meeting.

If you decide to meet someone in another country, and you are staying in a hotel, arrange to meet where you’re staying. Perhaps advise the hotel management of your plans and of any further meetings.

With SilverSurfersDating guidelines in mind let’s make your Happiness Happen!

Best wishes

The SilverSurfersDating Team